Day 5 – Ideally

What is your ideal self?

My ideal self is woman who exudes confidence and mental strength. Someone whose words and actions always reflect her values and beliefs, and who is not afraid to voice and defend them. Someone who lives healthily, eats well, stays physically fit, and who takes time out to think and reflect. Someone who actively engages with her family, and who stimulates her kids to grow up as critical free thinkers who can confidently pursue their own dreams in life. Someone who takes time for the important small things that make life so much more qualitative. Someone who has the courage to pursue a professional career that reflects her passion and optimizes her talents. Someone who gives back to the world, by volunteering and contributing to society, nature etc. Someone who keeps growing and evolving intellectually and as a person. Someone who broadens her horizons and engages with people of all walks of life.

What is your ideal career?

My ideal career is to be an influencer and teacher on matters of science, health and existence. Two days of the week I would be counselling, helping or teaching people either 1-on-1 or in group sessions, workshops etc. I would spend the remainder of the week researching, reading, analyzing, problem-solving and creating to develop a range of books, tools, web platforms or other tangibles that can be sold to people to support or educate them in some way, disseminating new ideas, the bigger picture or quite simply things that many people struggle with.

The Format:  to be self-employed, spending 2 days a week engaging with others and 3 days a week working alone, in a flexible schedule that I can control fully, so that my family life can always come first. If I want to work at nighttime and play during the day, I want to be able to do so.

The Content: Ideally, this all revolves around health, or existence. Weaving together topics that interest me, such as microbiome, diets, rehabilitation, inclusion, teaching kids, kids with special needs, philosophical considerations, brain plasticity, chaos & complexity, genes & epigenetics, medicine, alternative health, psychology….

What is your ideal diet?

My ideal diet is a balanced one, with foods that help maintain a healthy microbiome. This diet cuts out processed foods of any kinds: refined sugars, starches, additives, refined grains, processed meats, manipulated fruit or vegetables (canned, preserved). It is based on ingredients in their purest form, ideally organic, that are then home-cooked a la minute or home-wecked/preserved. It is mainly vegetable-based, but pure meats and fish are allowed sparingly.

For example: no margarines, but real organic butter (karneboter); sugar-free yoghurts with plenty of live probiotic strains, no bread unless it’s high in grain/seeds, only soft cheeses that contain live strains, raw vegetables & salads, soups & broths, coffee, green tea and plenty of water. Chickpeas, lentils. Garlic. Dark chocolate sparingly. Plenty of nuts, seeds, olives, and extra virgin cold-pressed olive oil.

What is your ideal home like?

Ahh, described it all here.

What is your ideal physical look?

Healthy. A glow on my cheeks. No acne (probably the biggest bane of my existence. I was promised they’d disappear after I gave birth, but yet again I deviate from the gene pool). I’m OK with my current height, but would like to weigh 62kgs instead of 67. Toned legs, thighs and belly. When I’m overweight, I dislike my profile, which is a typical Jacobs family profile. When I’m in good weight, I love my cheekbones and profile. If I could pick, I’d have my pre-pregnancy boobs back. They were perfect! But since they fed and nourished my wonderful son so effectively, I even love their now slightly saggy, uneven look. It reminds me of the 3 am feed-bonding sessions.

What is your ideal relationship?

A balanced one. It should start from a solid common ground in terms of the core values and beliefs. Some shared common interests. As long as this is right, then I think 2 people in a relationship can be very different. A level of commitment to each other and the kids that serves as a strong compass in the inevitable times of trouble or doubt. One that creates time and space for personal growth as well as growth as a couple. Respect, honesty and humor as a basis. Someone who can challenge me, makes me feel loved and is my safe base from which to explore and engage with the world.

What is the life of your dreams? Are you living it? What is stopping you? How do you overcome it?

In the life of my dreams I have 48 hours to a day. But since that will never happen, maybe some more realistic perspective. A household of 2 self-employed people who work hard but can flexibly adjust their schedules around the focus of life: family. A job that feels like a hobby, sometimes challenging, sometimes comfortably familiar. Tangible outcomes of the productive work efforts that I put in. A family life that runs like a well-oiled machine in terms of food, administration, household chores, so that those menial things never become cumbersome or barriers against other things. A financial safety net so that we don’t have to worry too much about unexpected mishaps. A life that allows us to experience things fully, and to do everything within our own power to be healthy and balanced. Lots of reading, intellectual discussions, playing board games together over a good beer or glass of wine whilst exchanging quality stories of our lives with the the kids and vice versa. Being able to care for my mum in circumstances she would’ve wished for, for the rest of her days. Taking cycling trips with Jo to reconnect and re-energize whenever we feel the need for it.

I am not quite living it now. What is stopping me is I think a lack of discipline needed to cram it all into our time, and commitment to doing it like that. Also, fear. I have financial fears and worries, as well as social fears and worries which stop me from doing things the way they should be done: taking some risks, going full force, and living IN it. I think I can overcome it by being more mindful. By throwing overboard useless things, both material and in terms of frustrations, worries, etc. all emotions that really don’t contribute to achieving what I want to achieve. I think I need to take time out to reflect and instantly correct where needed. And by building in ways to protect me from my typical pitfalls.